Here's a story of small restoration that might make a difference someday but who knows.
I have two friends who are splitting up with each other irreconcilably. They were engaged at the beginning of the year, lived together, and one of them cheated to sever the relationship, so you can imagine all of the trauma, drama, and craziness of the past few months.
I'm not a professional counselor. I don't even have any experience in the area of so-called "serious" relationships. (I top out at a wopping 5 months for relationship record...) So when my friends lean on me for support during split ups of all sorts I kind of feel out of my element. (As Anne Lamott says, there are basically only two prayers we pray: Help me, and Thank you.)
Whilst at dinner with the female of the two (who was the cheater), we were talking, and she made this comment, "Wow, we really know how to fuck things up don't we?" I'd been listening to her intently without saying much for about an hour. And it occurred to me to mention, "We know how to fuck things up, but it amazes me how much human beings take that broken thing and can end up creating something beautiful." She paused and then asked me if that's why I love Charlie Brown so much. Yep, everything he touches falls apart, but somehow his friends find a way to put it back together to make something lovely.
She said that was the first time she had smiled in a long time. It amazes me sometimes what happens when I just listen.
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3 comments:
Good story. Listening is one of the kindest things you can do sometimes.
As a rather chatty person, it's sometimes the last thing on my mind. :)
Maybe I should try this listening thing more often ;)
Listening was huge on the recent "Oprah's Big Give". Dang, I love that show, even if it makes me bawl like a schoolgirl.
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