so for the past several weeks... this idea of restoration obviously has been on my mind.
but for the past several months i've been questioning a lot of things on a big scale. a lot. i guess they're the normal adolescent/human questions of "why am i here?" "what do i believe?" and "what is the purpose for it all?"... but for me, that felt weird, because i'd never really doubted God before.
when i saw the pain of just my corner of the world, the emptiness, the seemingly insurmountable darkness... i just wondered how the strong the light really was.
when i saw the lack of passion in people who claimed to have Christ, i wondered if that was really it.
when i looked at my own relationship with Jesus, i wondered if I was just missing something.
wait, brianne, having doubts?
yeah. woah baby.
if the truth is so strong, then why is it so skewed? if the light is so powerful, then why is it so dark? if Christ is the source of peace and joy, then why are we still so miserable and apathetic? The biggest thing that bugs me is the way the Church has done things. Like, if we have found a light, and we are a window or a vessel, anything to connect our world to the truth, and there are millions of churches, then why isn't a world desperate for answers exploding with truth now?
i don't get it.
all i know now is that things are dark, but He will pierce the darkness.
the one thing I've had to come to terms with: it won't be in ways that we expect.
Jesus never did things the way we expected Him to, right? And He smacked darkness in the face.
It may not be megachurches and youth ministries and missions trips that ultimately bring light and restoration to the world. It may not be in huge explosions of growth or goodness.
It may be small things, donkeys instead of camels, stables instead of palaces, silence instead of words.
I don't know. Nothing profound here, just my thought processes I thought I'd share. Basically, I'm catching up to everyone else. I don't know how I'll contribute to this project creatively, but I'm so excited about it... Because it's met me right where I am... neat.
p.s. i cannot write a song, but if you want someone to sing with ya, let me know. cute!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
I really identify with this. Thanks for sharing. It is sometimes a lonely place to be (or it feels that way anyhow).
nice work briannee!
I feel ya here!
I also identify with you here, Brianne :)
Thanks for sharing.
And...if I could write a song, I'd rather have you sing it than me ;)
~H
So...I was watching a movie called Empire Falls last night and below is a paraphrase:
"Some people look at deep water and wonder how deep it needs to get before there is no light. But all it takes is one ray of light to pierce that darkness, almost as if you need the light to know that that darkness is there."
Maybe part of the reason why there's light in such a dark place is to show that it's dark?
Post a Comment